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Author Topic: Are you being attaked by Flying Monkeys?  (Read 623 times)

Offline hippieluv

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Are you being attaked by Flying Monkeys?
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2016, 03:13:13 PM »
A narcissis tic personali ty disordere d mother has flying monkeys. This is a term taken from The Wizard of Oz, where the flying monkeys do the bidding of the Wicked Witch.  The flying monkeys may be your neighbor, church members, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandmoth er, grandfath er, nieces, nephews, etc. These people do the narcissis t's dirty work and often pour their own abuse on the scapegoat .

I spent years of my life trying to show various flying monkeys the truth. It virtually never worked, not once in the twenty or so years I kept trying to "clear the air" or to finally be understoo d. They do not understan d because they do not want to understan d. Many are willfully ignorant and blind to the situation .  There is not some magical phrase and method you have not yet discovere d that is suddenly going to cause these people to stand up for the truth.

What I have realized is the flying monkeys generally have their own reasons for behaving the way they do. Some may truly do it out of ignorance, truly fooled for years by the narcissis t. However, it is my experienc e that most flying monkeys have weak character s.

They may know the truth, but lack the backbone to stand up for what is right. They may themselve s fear becoming a target of the narcissis t. They may have been a target of the narcissis t in the past. They may have been taught to get along with everyone regardles s. They may also be a narcissis t themselve s or hiding their own troubling behavior.

There are some exception s. Someone can innocentl y become a flying monkey without realizing it. The differenc e is, you can generally reason with them. In my experienc e, this is a rare exception to what I have stated above.

Narcissis tic personali ty disorder can also run in families and what a treachero us family it is! If you are the kindheart ed, truth-telling scapegoat in a family with multiple narcissis ts, run for your life! One narcissis t will use another and tag team a scapegoat . Two or more narcissis ts will also turn on one another when that serves their completel y self-centered purposes.  I watched this dynamic many times in my extended family over the years.

Some of the flying monkeys seemed like more of a loss at first, but the more time that went by the more I realized it really was a healthy choice. It is not a loss to remove people from your life who do not respect you or your feelings. In my experienc e, when you get serious about recovery, the flying monkeys will not like it and neither does the narcissis t.  You are most likely going to lose relations hips and it will hurt.  However, if you lose a relations hip based on the fact that you are becoming healthier and are no longer as easily manipulat ed, what kind of relations hip was it in the first place?

Once you are in this situation, it is going to hurt either way, but the differenc e to me is with recovery my pain eventuall y subsided.  On the other side is attractin g healthier people and relations hips.  For me, it has been well worth it, but everyone has to make that decision for themselve s.

 

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