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Author Topic: Touch  (Read 1457 times)

Offline Broken

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Re: Touch
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2011, 04:06:58 PM »
I think the important thing to remember and IW helped me to see it when I read her post is that it does get better over time..we are in a better place than when we started this journey.. thanks to communica tion and understan ding...

Offline IonocianWarrior

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    • Young Parent and Youth Coalition
Re: Touch
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2011, 01:36:39 PM »
The color coding is a great idea. I wish I thought of that. The system my husband and I use is words. Some times its too scary for me to yell "no" or "stop" because saying those things make my fright more of a reality. What I mean is he may trigger something, and then I would say "no" or "stop" and hearing my voice say those things sends me right into a flash back. That is a double wammy because he may not realize that I am "gone" and not involved. So I say something light and positive to communica te with him but also to make a mental barrier to prevent flashback s.
Talk to your partner and offer some of these suggestio ns. You will be showing him that you not only care about him but are trust worthy. Stick with it trust is hard to build but if you are persistan t you can build a strong and healthy relations hip.
Take Care
~IO
My Affirmati on:
I release my belief in worthless ness.
I release my need for negativit y
I am grateful that Spirit is the infinite creativit y that I am.

Offline Broken

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Re: Touch
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2010, 05:51:23 PM »
Hi Tyler,
I am no expert so take it for what its worth. Some things that helped my husband and I (and I must admit its like a dance we still are trying to figure out) In the very beginning of recovery he had to say "is it ok if I touch...." now It's not like that unless I am having a hard time and then i say I am having a hard day or couple days could you please be careful touching me..and I set clear boundarie s..never do this.neve r do that..but we had to talk about it..one night I said to him "maybe it be easier if we had a color coded system over our bed like the terror alert level for the usa." Red absolute no touching. ..green its ok..ha ha my poor husband



[admin] I want to say that I think that Broken did a great job answering your questions because she mentioned a variety of options available to try.
Tyler, you are invited to join. By joining, you will be able to more easily interact with the membershi p, including if you find a member that you seem to just "click" with. If you want to talk about other "things", it will be much easier, and what is private to you won't be seen by the public.
We are anonymous here and so that makes if safer by removing any fear of will "they know who I am".
Of course, you are welcomed to continue using our Public's Questions To Survivors if you prefer, because we do not ever want anyone, member or not, to feel pressured to do anything.
Cloud

Just one of the Administr ators [/admin]
« Last Edit: December 27, 2010, 07:52:23 PM by Cloud »

Tyler

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Touch
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2010, 06:26:53 PM »
my ex boyfriend and i didnt work out because he is a survivor and i didnt know how to touch him. How can we work that out.?ps i might have google i dont remember

 

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