Your Sanctuary



Author Topic: About Your Sanctuary  (Read 1080 times)

Offline Your Sanctuary Staff

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About Your Sanctuary
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2009, 01:18:16 PM »

We are trying to make this forum truly Your Sanctuary by modifying things that we have or have not seen at other forums.
Below is a list of what you will find here that you may not find elsewhere .


1. The Staff members try to be guiding rather than correctin g
We know that when we were young and innocent, if we had something happen, even if it wasn't our fault, we were blamed and punished, sometimes to much.  Here we are very careful with this and strive towards guiding rather than correctin g.


2. Real support instead of just a pat on the back.
Many other forums seem to want to support their members, but only with a few words like:
"Wow, I remember when I was going through that, I hope that you get through that soon.".


3. Some forums may not have an area for survivors that have Disassoci ative Identity Disorders (D.I.D.).
There are Survivors who have sought alternati ve means of dealing with the abuse that happened.  Some had to disassoci ate from the attack so that they could escape when they were abused.  We think that they need a place to heal as well and should not be excluded. There is a board that is just for those survivors . This board is private and regular members will not be able to see any stars or other indicatio ns that a member has access to this area.  Only Tenanya and those that are already accessing this private area will know.
For more informati on on DID, read "About Disassoci ative Identity Disorders (D.I.D.)". This will be placed on the forum soon.
Please contact Tenanya for admittanc e into this area.


4. While some forums may not permit them, at Your Sanctuary, alters can come out to heal as well.
Some survivors had an alternate personali ty be in the body, when they were abused.  For them and their alternate personali ties to heal, we believe that the alters should not be ignored.  It would seem that the alter would also be in their own pain and suffering? 
That is why at Your Sanctuary, there is a special area just for alters, as we think that they are an important part of your healing.
For more informati on about alters, read "What's An Alter?".

     A) There are some members that do not have alters, but still enjoy talking with the alters and offering a sense of belonging .  Some members are granted permissio n to talk to the alters.  Regular members will not be able to see any stars or other indicatio ns that a member has access to this area.
Please contact Tenanya for admittanc e into this area.


6. We offer these same hopes and ideals to the ones that love and care for a Survivor.  We call them Supportin g Members.
"What about them?".  We don't think it takes that much to figure out.  If a Survivor is, bursting into tears, or perhaps unfortuna te to have a memory take hold of them, isn't it likely that a Supportin g Member is asking themselve s

"What did I do to cause this?"
or
"What do I do?"

Here is a place that the Supportin g Member, can learn why Survivors react the way they do AND what, if anything, they should do.
We do ask that Supportin g Members NEVER EVER say

"I understan d how you feel",
or
"I know",

because frankly, it is unlikely that you do.

If you are not a survivor, you should be on the Supportin g Member side. This way you will be able to talk with others that are in relations hips with survivors, just like you. Being on the survivor side can not offer you much except for confusion .


7. Instead of stuffing them, here you can vent pent up feelings
We have created the "SCREAMING Room" for both Survivors and for Supportin g Members (those that are supportin g Survivors).  Neither of these boards require that you censor your words.
This finally gives you a chance to finally say what's really on your mind.  To release what you have held inside for so long.  We know that there are parts of you that are so, so angry.  We don't know if you will find a "SCREAMING Room" at other forums.
So you feel safe, members are not permitted to reply in the "SCREAMING Rooms".


8. As some members are under eighteen (18), we have a separate area for those that were sexually abused
It is sad that this has happened to anyone, but it has.  We believe that those that were sexually abused should have their own area so that they know that what they post is private and only seen by others that have suffered the same. 
This prevents other members from feeling stressed about how to reply to a member's post about sexual abuse, they simply may not know what that was like.
Lastly, though there are members under eighteen (18) that have been abused other ways, we don't want to expose them to sexual abuse boards, topics, or stories.  What good could come from that?
Regular members will not be able to see any stars or other indicatio ns that a member has access to this area. 
Please contact a Staff member for admittanc e into this area.


9. In regards to sexual abuse, a separate area is available for those that were abused in a ritualist ic way.
Some survivors may have been tied up or restraine d in some manner.  They may have been subjected to a combinati on of abuse (where they're physicall y abused and then they're touched in a way that creates pleasure).  Over and over these survivors may have been subjected to this and over time it may have become imprinted, a part of them and they may desire it again.
These survivors may have within them this thing that they hate, but it is still there, a desire for those feelings again.
A separate area is available for those that were abused in this way.  Regular members will not be able to see any stars or other indicatio ns that a member has access to this area.  Only those that  access this private area will know.
This area is for healing.  It is not intended to be a place to read about it, but rather find ways to teach the body that it can do without this.
Please contact a Staff member for admittanc e into this area.


10. A special area for those that Self-Harm.
What is self-harm and why would someone even do that?  Some survivors do this to cry out for help, to control the pain, or to punish themselve s.  There is a board that is just for those survivors that do this.  Again, this board is private and regular members will not be able to see any stars or other indicatio ns that a member has access to this area.  Only those that access this private area will know.
Please contact a Staff member for admittanc e into this area.


11 ) What about eating disorders?
Some survivors will use eating disorders to control pain or even others that are in their lives.  Some survivors use them to protect themselve s.  They may either intention ally or totally against their will gain weight.  Why?  Perhaps their inner self is creating an over weight person because they believe that an over weight person is not as attractiv e to a potential attacker.  While this is not necessari ly true, the inner self is trying to protect itself and the whole person.
At this time, the board for those that over eat. These boards are accessibl e by all members.  However, if requested by a member, this area may become private.

Some think that under eating is just "wrong".  Some regular members may even find it disgustin g or awful.  They can't understan d why that person doesn't just eat something .  The person that under eats can't just eat something .  This may be because they feel that they aren't worth it.  It may be that the eating disorder helps to control their feelings.  It may be that they feel like they are fat.
Regardles s of the reason, there is an area to try to help each other to deal with these feelings and the eating disorder.  This board is also private and regular members will not be able to see any stars or other indicatio ns that a member has access to this area.  Only those that access this private area will know.
Please contact a Staff member for admittanc e into this area.


Stay Safe and Take Care,
Your Sanctuary Staff

 

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